Freedom, independence, self-exploration...this is just the beginning of the list of reasons as to why I am single. I have been in a relationship from the time that I was twelve. Ever since my early teens, I have always found myself in a relationship...part of a couple...dependent on another. As soon as one relationship would end, I would find myself diving right into the next.

About a year and a half ago, I realized that I have been a serial monogamous for far too long and it is time that I get to know myself. Not the me that is defined by a man or the relationship I am in. I wanted to get to know the person I am when I am completely independent and free from all of the ties of a relationship.

I was at a point where I had just gotten out of a serious relationship and I swore to myself that I was not going to date again for a while. Well, a few weeks later, I met someone new, and I didn't listen to my "vow of single-hood" and that started the whole cycle all over again. I spent the next few months bouncing from one "relationship" to another. I never got serious in any of these relationships, fooling myself that by not getting serious, I was still getting to know myself "outside" of a relationship.

It finally took the third break-up in six months for me to sit down and re-evaluate my decisions in life. It was at this point that I really set my foot down and decided to be single (for the first time in my life). This was about a year ago and I will tell you that it is the best decision that I have ever made.

As I watch one friend after another, walk away from yet another failed relationship that started at too young of an age, I count my blessings that I am no longer that person. As with many things; like fine wine and aged cheddar...love only gets better with age. With age comes maturity, and I feel that only mature people can appreciate true love.

I have started this journey as a single woman and I will not be derailed until I feel that I completely understand myself and I meet a man that is just as confident. Many people make the mistake of searching for a partner that will complete them by making up for what they lack in their life. But I believe that the best relationships are made when two complete people come together, both secure, independent and confident with who they are. So that is why I am single, I need to be single to learn who I am as a "woman without a man"!

Learn more about this author, Katie Arden.
Click here to send author comments or questions.

---

Add your voice

Know something about Testimonies: Why I'm still single?
We want to hear your view. Write now!