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Humor: Confusion

Confusion: I thought that was an everyday thing. I spent a third of my life getting here, another third trying to remembering how I got here, and the last third trying to figure out how to get out.

The older I get, the worse it gets, but I know a whole lot of people with this very same contagious, incurable disease. I get up, and go to the other room, and by the time I get there, I have no idea what I went in there for. I find things put in places that are not exactly where they go, and I know somebody else must have put them there, because I know where they go, and that ain't it.

I make out a grocery list, and when I get to the store, it's not in my purse, so someone's been in my purse. Why they put my list on the coffee table, I'll never know. It doesn't do me much good there.

Does any of this seem familiar to any of you? Someone laughed at me the other day because I tried to dial the remote control to make a phone call. And, you know what? You can't change the channels on the TV with the telephone either. But that's okay, I caught my mom doing the same thing the other day, maybe it's heredity. She's 85 years old.

Someone told me that I was still okay for now, I'll know when something's wrong, when I put my underwear on after I put my clothes on. I guess that's when I know that I'm in real trouble. But let's face facts, by then it may seem only natural if this is what they call confusion.

They say the older you get, the faster time flies. I don't know if that's true, or you've just forgotten what went on in between. Things definitely don't stay the same. I tell people that there's nothing wrong with my memory, I just forgot where I left it. That's more fact than humor.

When I'm talking, a lot of my words seem to come out backwards. Some of my friends laugh at me, and now they are beginning to sound just like me. My words actually do come out backwards. I get confused and say something totally out of context. I don't know why.

I have several members of my dad's family that have died of Alzheimers, but I try not to let it bother me. I'm going to live my life to the fullest as long as I can. Why sit around and worry about something I won't even remember tomorrow.

Life has to be lived in the fast lane now. The world seems to demand it. I'm way to slow to be in the fast lane. I'd get run over, and knocked down. At my age, getting down is the easy part. That getting back up, well, that's another story.

My son wants to get me a new


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Humor: Confusion

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    I have IMS. Don't fret. I'm hoping to be able to cope with Intermittent Memory Syndrome. Yes, it's that ghastly... read more

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Humor: Confusion

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