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Twelve years ago I started to experience a deep pain in one of my big toes. I thought perhaps I had stepped on something that had become embedded, but there was no outward sign of injury. Within a year I was in pain from head to toe every single day. I could literally feel my skeleton, particularly in my hands. My doctor took x-rays of my feet and found nothing. She sent me to a rheumatoid arthritis specialist, who also found nothing. That year, I had the only abnormal pap I've ever had. Again, they couldn't explain the reason. The only test that gave a clue to what was going on showed that my immune system was attacking my own body. I was prescribed anti-depressants. They didn't help. I was exhausted, yet I could not sleep. I cried all the time. Overnight I suddenly gained about 20 pounds, without any change in my eating habits. Prior to my illness I was able to maintain a slim figure without much effort. My legs were weak and my body felt like I was 80 years old. I had just turned 40.

A second doctor told me the problems were the result of chronic insomnia and had probably started long before I experienced symptoms. It made sense to me because I recalled having sleep problems since I was a child. He changed the anti-depressant I was on and sent me on my way. That anti-depressant caused me to put on more weight which made me more depressed, but I stuck with it for several years. It took a year and a half of avoiding stress as much as possible and daily naps before I reached the point where the pain was limited to my feet. If I got too stressed about something, or didn't get enough sleep, the pain in other areas of my body would flare up.

A few years later another doctor froze a suspicious patch of skin on my back near my shoulder. As a result of that I developed daily headaches, and pain that ran from my head, down my neck and my entire left arm. Nothing I did eased the pain. After a few months I could not sit or lay down because the pain was so bad. Obviously, I couldn't sleep. An MRI indicated that I had a herniated disk in my neck. I was sent to physical therapy; part of the treatment included putting my head in traction and pulling. This increased the pain so much that I stopped the therapy and went to see another doctor. He recommended acupuncture. When that didn't work, I changed doctors again because my current doctor wouldn't give me anything for the pain. She told me to take Ibuprofen and then stopped taking my calls.

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