by J. Marissa Woerner

Created on: September 09, 2007

As part of an assignment for a college course, I was to compare and contrast two shows for children and rate them based on emotional and physical violence. Ichose Sponge Bob Square Pants as the first show to review because I know it's one my son is allowed to watch at his father's house. This choice of programming has been a source of concern for some time, and I was interested in providing quantifiable reasons for why it's not best suited for a three-year-old. With that said, I'd like to acknowledge what an excellent example this show is of something that can be funny to an adult but is completely irresponsible to show to a child of my son's age.

The first mini episode of the show was about the feud between Mr. Crab and Plankton. Mr. Crab is a stingy, greedy fast-food restauranteur who will do anything to protect his own interests, which include the secret recipe to the hallmark item on his menu, the Crabby Patty. Plankton is a tiny little green blob with a large, hateful voice who is always scheming to get the recipe. In this episode, Plankton finally tired of all his scheming and fighting with Mr. Crab and moved on, opening his own nick-nack shop and finding a life that was more fulfilling.

Mr. Crab was simply unable to accept this. He tempted Plankton, taunted him, and even destroyed his entire shop while in a rage. Plankton looked at him with tears in his eyes and said, "Don't you see? I've moved on. I'm really happy now. Why can't you accept that?"

Mr. Crab saw the error of his ways and invited Plankton to join him for a soda, where he gave a well-worded and seemingly heartfelt apology. Plankton accepted, and the two became inseparable friends. A portion of the show was devoted to how the two learned to trust each other, all the good times they had and how after some time, as a symbol of his trust, Mr. Crab offered the prized secret recipe to Plankton. At first, Plankton refused, saying that if he took it, there would always be a shadow of doubt in Mr. Crab's mind. After much prodding, Plankton finally accepted it. As he walked away his hateful voice returned and he said, "Finally! It is MINE! My hopelessly convoluted and diabolical plan worked! I have finally gotten the secret recipe! Ha hahahahahaha!"

When he opened the paper, he found a note from Mr. Crab that said, "Gotcha!" Mr. Crab reappeared and said that No, HIS hopelessly convoluted and diabolical plan had worked. The two returned to feuding, and that was the end of the segment.

The second mini-episode

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