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Humor: Maturity

by Curt Jeffryes

Created on: September 07, 2007


Now that I am in my mid-fifties, I have noticed that my perspectives on life have changed. For example, when I was in my twenties, I never gave a second thought to passing a rest area while traveling on vacation. You could get in the car and drive for hours without the need to stop. Now, I never miss a rest area and I am very aware of any terrain that might afford enough privacy to handle an emergency.

Here are some other things I have reflected on:

1.When you're a male in your twenties, standing close enough to the urinal is never a concern. In fact you pride yourself on long distance trick shots. In your fifties, you worry about whether or not you can reach the target. After observing rest area bathroom floors, I feel pretty good in the fact that I am not alone on this issue.

2.When you're in your twenties passing gas is something of a status symbol when around other guys and an art form around people you want to shock. When you're in your fifties, it's still an attention getter but the person you normally end of shocking is yourself. It seems like the things always come out when you least expect it and definitely in the wrong places.

3.When you're in your twenties, commercials for depends are hilarious and you cannot imagine anyone needing to wear such a thing. When you are in you're fifties your thoughts change to, "I wonder if they have them in my size?"

4.You may wonder why so much emphasis on bodily functions? Well, if you are asking that question, then you are definitely quite a bit younger than fifty. If you are over fifty, planning your day around bodily functions and celebrating successful performances is a daily event and entirely rationale.

5.When you're in you're in your twenties, having sex is always on your mind. When your in your fifties sex only happens in your mind.

6.When you're in your twenties you proudly state that you will never need Viagra. When you're in your fifties you believe the person who invented it should have gotten some type of Nobel Prize.

7.When you're in your twenties, you worry about hair loss and your first gray hairs. When you're in your fifties, if you have hair its already gray. The bigger question you ponder is whether or not you really lose the hair on your head or if it just migrates in your sleep to all the places you really don't want or need it.

8.When you're in your twenties, you worry about having to shave everyday. When you're in your fifties, you worry about all the places besides your face that you should shave.

9.When

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