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What is a best friend? To me it is someone who knows everything there is to know about you. The good and the bad and they still love you. They are there whenever you need them and even times when you don't.

My best friend's name is Herrold. He is my ex-husband. Herrold and I married when we were 21 years old. We didn't know much about each other or life but we took the plunge and said forever. Three kids and four years of marriage later I said, "I am outta here!" We were two completely different people and we fought every single day. Even our children were relieved when we separated.

No matter how angry I was at him I always see the father of my children when I look at Herrold. I remember how my mother would throw stuff at my father when he would come to pick me up for the weekend and I vowed never to put my children through that. I would stay civil to him no matter what. As time went on and the hurt began to subside I started to see that Herrold was not a bad person. Sure he made mistakes but we all do. He has a wonderful heart though and is an all around great person.

Herrold and I have been divorced for 7 years now. I am closer to him now than I was when we were married. We have both grown into wonderful people and incredible parents. I feel that having a friendship with him is essential to the well-being of our children. In trying to stick to that I actually formed a very close bond with him that had nothing to do with our children but with the fact that he is a wonderful person.

It all boils down to maturity. You can suck it up, get over the hurt, realize people make mistakes, forgive and move on, or you can lose what could be a great friend and possibly damage yourself from being able to have relationships in the future by holding on to those negative emotions. The choice is yours but I am thankful everyday that Herrold and I were able to let go and move on. I now have a best friend who will never abandoned me (if he does the kids know where he lives, which is right across the street from us) and who knows everything a person can know about me. We share our secrets and we come to each other for support and advice. Whether it is for work or a relationship we trust and value each other's opinions and that reflects onto how our children view us not only as individuals but as parents.

Can an ex be your best friend? Seems like a very immature question to me because the answer is: Thats up to you.

Learn more about this author, Darlin Jo.
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