This season on Big Brother...
We're adding some new players to the cast...
And they know how to stab people in the back...
For real!

Welcome to: Big Brother, Last of the Mohicans Edition. Here are scenes from this season's gripping show!

"Did you see that new guy, Nathaniel? He's wearing nothing but a loincloth! And he's a hot-tay! I am so going after him."

"Magua! I don't care if he put you on the block, no scalping the Head of Household!"

"You be strong, you survive... you stay alive, no matter what occurs! Even if it is a double eviction night!"

"Jeez. Somebody tell Magua that the mohawk look went out back in 1988."

"Anyone who advocates leaving this alliance will be hung for sedition! Anyone found making terms with Dick and Daniele will be shot for treason!"

"Magua had the Gray Hair's children on the block and they escaped... he'll have them on it again."

"Cora! Alice! Why did you disobey me? I told you to vote Amber for eviction!"

"What are you looking at?"
"I'm looking at you, miss."
"Oh puh-leeze! Maybe that line worked in 1756 but you need something better now, Musket Boy."

"As America's Player, my task this week will be... sacrifice myself for Cora and allow myself to be burned at the stake. Um... do I still get bonus money for that?"

"Magua will eat the Gray Hair's heart and remove his seed from the earth."
"Magua, why do you hate the Gray Hair so much?"
"The Gray Hair put mustard on Magua's pillow."

"On the contrary, sir. I find the endless infighting and backstabbing stirring to my blood."

"Tonight's Power of Veto competition is musket shooting? But-but-I'm a cocktail waitress! And you stop grinning, Nathaniel! This show is soooo fixed!"

"The situation is, his alliances are bigger than mine and he has more of them."

"Magua pretended to be with Jessica and Eric's tribe, but in his heart he was always with Dick and Daniele!"

"You are vetoing him because you have become infatuated with him!"

"Duncan, you are a man with a few admirable qualities, but I was wrong to have thought so highly of you. You really sucked at the last Power of Veto competition."

"My eviction vote this week is for Nathaniel. He's too strong at the competitions, I haven't formed a close personal relationship with him, and... well, frankly, he doesn't know how to use a toilet."

"I am Chingachgook. Last of the Mohicans. And Head of the Household. Yessssss!"

"So Cora, was the relationship between you and Nathaniel real or just a showmance?"
"All lies, Julie. Oh, I had him so wrapped around my finger, didn't I? He was leaping through waterfalls for me last week! Hahaha!"

Will Magua get his revenge? Will Nathaniel's alliance hold firm? And will any man on a reality show ever figure out that women are just using them, for Pete's sake? Find out this season on Big Brother, Last of the Mohicans!

Learn more about this author, Mike Mulhern.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

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