by Richard E. Grant

Created on: September 06, 2007   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

My Darling,

As God has seen fit to bring you to him, and all that I wanted to tell you, I am now unable to do, I wanted to write in the hope that somewhere, sometime, you could read all that I should have told you while we were together.

The light of my day dims now you are not around. My nights are filled with a haunting echo of your wonderful presence. A shudder of cold fear leaps from bone to bone as I try hard to get up in the morning, thinking of ten reasons to keep going.

You were everything to me. You filled my day with a purpose I had never had before. You gave my life a semblance of meaning, and in you uncanny and fantastic way, you made me feel that life was just you and me.

When you entered a room, it was as if the world stopped. Everyone else just disappeared. My heart missed several beats, I became breathless and overcome. When you spoke, your calm words made so much sense and they brought joy to me and those around us.

I found mother crying the other day, she was weeping for our loss. The world is very different now that you are gone. The air seems muggy. The people seem to have reappeared. Nothing is, as nothing was, the same.

My Darling, I wish so much that you were here with me, here with us. The children miss you intensely. Little Sally has grown her first tooth. James and John are just about to start school. It seems strange taking them to the places we used to go as a family, but taking them alone.

Do you remember that old oak tree we carved our names into? It's still standing in the gardens across the street. I can see the beautiful rich green leaves, the branches towering so high they outstand all others over our private spot.

Do you remember Day Lilly? Our most secret moment in the cool winter air. The snow had not fallen in three years, we crept out before the world was awake and made such passionate love under our oak tree. The gardener almost caught us and we laughed and ran like naughty children through the garden and over the fence. I sometimes see that man wandering in the blossoming beds of flowers that have sprung up over these summer months. I'm sure if we met face-to-face he would recognise me instantly. I laugh as I remember that special time. I cry as I think we will never share that moment again.

Papa retired yesterday, so mother now has him fulltime at home. Poor mother, I'm sure he's driving her crazy, but they have been in love so long, I know they'll survive.

David went to Beijing on business with Carol, I think they're going to

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