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If ever there is a moment that a parent wishes for a magic button, it is when our children are put on display for the whole world to critique. Suddenly our lives are transparent, and all of our strengths and shortcomings are displayed to all who care to witness. At this moment of truth, we often become bundles of nerves, wondering if our offspring will choose to humiliate us or make us shine.

What many parents fail to realize is that a child's public actions are a direct result of how he is allowed to act in the home. Kids hold to only one standard. If temper tantrums are overlooked in your own living room, then you can expect a stage three meltdown in the middle of the grocery store. A sassy mouth that is ignored on the home front will receive plenty of attention when it is revealed during a lull in restaurant conversation.

But let's turn the tables. Consider a child that has been gently but firmly made to share his toys from day one. Your heart will burst with pride when you witness him happily interacting with the other kids in preschool. Or how about those manners you've taught since the first tiny lisp? Your child's sweet "Thank You" will be a response born of habit.

As different as these scenarios are, they each come down to a key principal: Consistency. Children are like sponges, and their tiny minds are absorbing each and every detail that goes on around them. As parents, it is our job to create safe and reasonable boundaries for our kids. As kids, it is in their nature to continually hit the edge of those boundaries. It's like they are checking to see if it is still there, and still as strong as it was the first time. They want and need it to be. Strict boundaries and consistency are the seeds and fertilizer of security.

A child's behavior outside of the home is simply a gage of parental consistency. Threats and bribes may yield temporary results, but we all desire for our children to behave out of respect and habit. THIS IS NOT IMPOSSIBLE! Start with the areas where your children regularly misbehave. Tackle them one at a time, staying consistent until your children realize that THEY are the ones who are going to have to back down. It is in a child's nature to want to please. Let them know you are proud of their progress. And always, always reassure them of your love.

Inability to discipline in public is a reality many parents face. Due to laws and those strangers who misinterpret corporal action, children soon learn that misbehavior in public is met by a different standard than it is at home. Let your children know ahead of time that their wrong behavior will not be excused, even if it can't be dealt with immediately. Don't insult their memories! Kids as young as two or three will be getting antsy by the time your car pulls in the driveway! Your biggest challenge will be to not forget that you promised to deal with it!

With time, patience, and (I'll say it again) consistency, we all have the hope of laying the public nightmare to rest. Just keep in mind that well-behaved kids don't just happen-they are created. Created by common people like you and me, who are willing to take on the challenge and see it through to the end. The moment our kids make us proud will be the prize we've been working for!

Learn more about this author, Denise Ramer.
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