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Well, my definition of dating is: finding out what you don't like about a person and deciding if you can live with it. When we meet people, we focus on the things we like about them, which is why we start dating them in the first place. For them to become a boyfriend or girlfriend, we have to see if the things we're not so fond of about them is a deal breaker or not. We have to make sure before committing to an exclusive relationship that could be long-term, or potentially forever.

Some people are still getting over an old relationship and not yet ready to fully commit to a new one. They still have a lot to give and so they go out and date people. I think it's important to ask someone if they'd like to be your boyfriend if you guys are dating. It helps establish the relationship and lays down the rules. We all have to decide for ourselves which rules work for us. You might want to stress the important of trust and communication when starting a new relationship.

I'm never offended if a woman I'm dating decides to have someone else as her boyfriend. It just lets me know that I'm not the right guy for her at that time. It also lets me know that she's not the right woman for me at that time because she's interested in someone else. Some women I like dating, but could never have as girlfriends. I dated a woman who knew that I was dating other girls. She would often get jealous and question me about where I was going or who I was with. She wasn't even my girlfriend yet and she was acting in that manner. I could see disaster ahead, if I were to ever make her my girlfriend because she expressed concern over even my female friends. I will not tolerate my girlfriend banning me from hanging out with my female friends. If I had rushed to make her my girlfriend, I would not have learn that she a very jealous (possibly insecure) and possessive person.

I'm not using them, because I don't pressure them to do anything they're not comfortable with and I don't think they're using me either.

Learn more about this author, Martin Matthews.
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