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When it all started,
it was just a game,
it was all half-hearted,
never a part of all my consciousness,
ever wanted to fall into love.

I didn't want to confuse things,
I didn't want to catch your loose feelings,
I didn't want to cause those tears,
If i could i would disappear,
if i knew you would be okay...
But you wouldn't.

I crashed into it,
shattered what barriers i had up,

weakened myself to your love,
I'm defenseless.
This changes everything...

Love.
This is what it does...
All that once was,
is now undone,
remade into the way you want to be,
to please the one that you hold dear.

Fear.
Its always a constant when your not near,
when your away it consumes me.
I'm insane,
I am.
You should see me when your not holding my hand,
I'm a madman.
Pacing back and forth,
wearing holes in the floor,
rapping my knuckles on my forehead.

Doubt.
When you say "Its okay",
I cant help but believe it,
your words are strait,
explaining and reassuring all that i need.
Your words are my bible,
they hold onto my faith.
But when your away,
thats a different book all together.
I cant look myself in the mirror,
I'm afraid of seeing something,
that may or may not be there.

Insanity.
That everything you say is blasphemy,
that everything you say is to make me feel better,
you never believe it.
I hate my thoughts,
when your not here to make me ignore them,
not here to let me escape.
I'm afraid.

Appearance.
In my coherency with you,
my connection to you,
my black is not true,
my white is askew.
Once i was so dark,
when i embarked my aura was hard,
the very essence of shadow.
My eyes filled with sorrow,
and more so hatred,
for the world and all others.
My walk was a trudge,
mixed with a stomp,
firm enough to cause a crowd,
to split around me,
and not to look at me.

But look at me now.
I am all white,
a stand in the light,
my face is so bright,
my smile no longer a stripe.
I radiate the pain,
that will always remain,
but I'm not the same.
I never showed that dismay,
but now i show also my bliss,
i am so happy.
I now walk with a stride,
i bounce in my step,
all others now stare,
as i walk up the stairs,
now they dare,
to make eye connection.
What have you done to me,
to make my world change so dramatically?

View.
Such a beautiful view,
once old and new,
was everything knew.
I turned to an old friend,
he asked me the feeling,
how it felt to be in love,
i remember saying,
"Its mysterious, the worst and best feeling in the world. And it changes everything. And changes how you look at everything... Ive walked past this point countless times.. but now its different.
Everything is

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