by Valentine Logar

Created on: September 02, 2007

There is no "best" option between these. There are only choices that a woman can make based upon a number of variables including; who she is at the time, what her personal belief systems are, what support she will have in the future. But a best option? How can anyone claim that between these there is a "best" option?

People can always second guess themselves. They can look back and say they made a bad choice in the past. They can have a spiritual epiphany that causes them to rethink their position on any given issue, especially the issue of abortion. But the fact is that it remains a personal decision that only a woman can make at the time of her pregnancy. It is not a best option; but quite possibly it is the only one open to her under her circumstances. No one but the pregnant woman knows what those circumstances are. No one but the pregnant woman knows what is in her heart at the time that she makes the decision to terminate a pregnancy.

As an adopted child I know the emotional pain that my biological mother and father experienced in giving me up at birth. I met them both when I was in my early twenties and heard from them all the stories of their grief. They married after I was born and went on to have more children so I also heard from my siblings their issues of knowing there was another child in the world and how they were made to "suffer" for that loss. I am not judging them for how they handled the adoption only noting that it wasn't handled well on a emotional level. My adoption was fifty years ago it was sealed and only I could have that seal broken by the courts.

When I was fourteen I had an abortion. I didn't want to have an abortion but my adoptive mother thought it was best and she forced it. Roe vs. Wade had only just recently passed. My adoptive mother was a forceful women who cared a great deal what the "neighbors" would think. She spent a great deal of energy, my entire life, telling me I was just like that "slut" of a "real" mother of mine. When I became pregnant at fourteen her assumption of my likeness to my biological mother became "fact". I had hidden my pregnancy and so my abortion wasn't easy or early. It was also very traumatic and led to a series of events that ultimately resulted in my inability to bear children.

So really there is no "best" option. Each situation is different and difficult. If I had continued my pregnancy at fourteen I would now have a 36 year old child. I would never have given my child up for adoption given my

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>