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We were married when I was the young age of 17, and had a very happy 21 years of marriage. I think that as the years went by my husband and I grew apart and after counseling, decided to try a trial separation to see what we would do. After further counseling it was determined that we would divorce. We did not go through the usual fighting and arguing that accompanies most couples separations, we had split on good terms and were able to iron things our quite easily without lawyers.

It was very hard for us because we still loved each other very much but could not remain with each other for other reasons. Our lives had taken different roads, I had become my own person and my life had taken a path of its own. His life, something I found out much later had been held back. He had many dreams that he had and had finally been set free to do what he had in his heart to do. We had been holding each other back to fulfill our own dreams and it was something that we could not do together unfortunately. Although we still loved each other dearly, we loved each other more as dear friends would love not as a husband and wife. And that is what had been tearing us apart for a few years.
Our children were teenagers at this point in our lives, and it was easy for us to talk to them. While it was still devastating news to them, we bound together as a family for comfort, loving each other and talking over our problems with openness and honesty. We had always had an open book policy in our family, and the children felt free to ask questions and we did our best to answer them and make them feel as secure and loved as possible.
Although it was never going to be the same in our family, and they would always try to see the two of us back together again. We remain very close friends, having coffee together and he has been over for Christmas and birthdays. He feels very welcome in our home and life has moved on. The children have grown into confident adults who understand divorce and the reasoning behind it. I believe that as long as there is a solid foundation of love children will feel secure and stable and respect the decisions of their parents in the end. They always loved to see him pull up in the driveway, unannounced for a surprise visit. He is and always will be in my life, I keep in contact with him through e-mail and phone calls. Sometimes just to say hi and ask me how I am doing. It is easy to keep loving someone, you may not be able to live with them but you can always love them for the person they are. Put yourself aside.

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