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I am a widow. I lost my wonderful husband 3 years ago, but even more importantly I am a "pet widow". That is to say that I have suffered through the loss of a pet, several pets, if the truth be told, and with each one it got harder, go figure.

The last pet that I lost was a beloved cat who was called Molly.

Molly was with me 12 year in total. She was the very pampered, diva daughter of a momma Persian whom I still have with me today. Molly was diagnosed with FIP, a miserable disease, about a month prior to her death. I miss her so much sometimes I can barely swallow.

I will never forget that day, the day she died, in someways I remember that day even more vividly then I remember the day my husband died. Coincidentally I lost Molly just 2 months prior to my husbands death in 2004. That was not a good year for me.

The steps in grief are the same no matter what species has past on. I was doing double time in grieving with my husband and Molly. The difference is, I remarried and recovered the loss of my husband. I have not committed to a replacement kitty for Molly. Some people find this odd, even offensive that I seem to have moved on from the loss of my husband quicker then the loss of mangy old cat. But it is what it is and I don't analyze it.

Grieving requires fortitude and strength, it is not for the faint of heart. The steps in grieving are simple but not finite. You may go through them all several times before you can raise your head a bit higher then your knees and see that there really is a light shining at the end of the very dark tunnel. But you must go through all the phases of grief in order to emerge whole and ready for life again.

Denial, Bargaining, anger, depression, and finally acceptance are the standard phases, there are other parts to it depending on just how deep the grief is, but all in all these seem to be the commoner ones.

I don't believe that you "overcome" any deep loss, you just learn to live with it and push it back a bit when it comes to day to day living. The loss is always there and ready to bounce forward in your mind if you let it.

Everyone is different. Everyone will grieve a different way and we all need to have to compassion and foresight to realize this. Some people when grieving the loss of a pet will immediately go out and get another pet. Thats ok. Some people even years later (like me) can't fathom the thought of another pet. Thats ok. Some people will cry themselves to sleep every night feeling for that familiar weight at the end of the bed and realizing it is no longer there. Thats ok. Its all ok. Its what you need to do to get through.

Learn more about this author, Pamela Rodriguez.
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