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Humor: Adventures with a shopping cart

Grocery shopping is a chore. No matter how much you try to stock up, you will always need to go back. Pushing around that shopping cart can begin to feel like a monotonous task. Pick up the milk, pick up more bread. Don't forget batteries or toilet paper. Over and over.

There has to be a way to liven up your trip. Fortunately, grocery stores provide some four-wheeled entertainment in the form of rickety-wheeled, metal-caged, shopping carts. You just need a little imagination and a lot of courage to turn your grocery shopping into an adventure.



To have some fun with your shopping cart, try these suggestions, make up your own, or just imagine them the next time you're trudging through the never-ending aisles.

Shopping Cart Tetris

Arrange and rearrange your items to pack them into your shopping cart as tight as physically possible. Start in the back and wedge the items so close that the bottom of the shopping cart is completely hidden. Assign yourself points for each grid of the shopping cart's sides that gets hidden as well. When you fill in a whole row, jump up and down and shout, "Tetris!".

Don't forget to check out your competitors. Everyone with a shopping cart is playing whether they know it or not. Feel free to smile at them smugly as you eye the gaping holes in their gameboards.

Alphabet Soup

You took the time to learn the ABCs, put them to some practical use. Arrange everything in your shopping cart alphabetically. Every time you pick up an item, hold it in your hand while looking through the shopping cart for its proper place. Sing the Alphabet song (out loud) until you get to the proper letter and then put the item it its spot.

You get bonus points for keeping it up with a straight face, and extra bonus points for the number of people who notice you singing to your items. But the real jackpot bonus is yours if you can convince the cashier to ring up the items in your shopping cart alphabetically as well.

Speed Shopper

Bring a stopwatch to the store. It doesn't matter if you're in a hurry. You have better places to be. This one is best with a little up-front planning. Sketch out a map of the store and label the aisles. Make a list of the items you need and stick to it. When you enter the store, prominently mount your map and list to the shopping cart handle with tape and hit the stopwatch. Go!

Racewalk your way through the aisles, weaving your shopping cart in and out of the shoppers. Be polite, like you would on the running trail. Shout "Left" when passing from behind, giving other shoppers notice to move their shopping carts to the right because you're coming through.

When you get to the check-out, stop the clock. Dance around behind your shopping cart singing about your new record (even if you didn't set one, it will put everyone in a good mood). For an added game, you can reset the stopwatch and challenge the cashier to beat the standing record for ringing up the items in your shopping cart. Don't push too much, a cashier who doesn't want to play might just get you banned from the store!


*Disclaimer: Do not try this at home. (Unless you live in a grocery store.) You probably shouldn't try this at a grocery store either, at least not at one where anyone knows you. Maybe on vacation, that's your call. The author is not responsible for grocery store banishments, shopping cart related injuries, or injuries caused by disgruntled workers or patrons who do not have a sense of humor.

243343_m Learn more about this author, Susan Quilty.
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