I have suffered from Post Traumatic Stress for most of my life, I first noticed myself changing in 5th grade. I am now 26 years old and I want to help other people to understand that this can cause so many more problems for a person if they do not have the correct type of support system and especially if the people around them don't honestly understand the problem.

As a result of childhood abuse, sexual abuse and physical abuse, the loss of 3 children, my family shut me out at 16 years old, deaths of friends and family as well as a few rapes and a lot of verbal and mental abuse I have become a woman that is definitely not sure of herself and yes to be acknowledged and understood is a great desire. I feel empty most of the time and worthless, and feeling so low causes me to cut myself when I feel like my life isn't real, I can't explain most of my actions because I really have no idea why I do certain things at certain times, or I simply act without thought then regret the mistakes I've made.

Many people do not understand that PTSD isn't just depression and suicidal thoughts, it's not just tears and emotional baggage, it can be self destructive behavior as well. It can be caused by suppressed memories which can also trigger the behavior others are questioning and you have to realize that the only way to help someone whether they take medication or not is to try your best to understand and forgive them no matter how badly their actions may hurt you, you have to know that often the people a PTSD "victim" loves are the people we hurt the most, it is not intentional but there are such dark places within us that we may do things simply for validation, or spite. It may be meant well but turn out all wrong, it's an emotionally draining way to live and we are constantly in need of love and support.

It's not easy to handle by any means but the suppressed emotions and or memories may trigger the behaviors you question. It's kind of like our brains pause while we make foolish decisions and pick back up again once it's too late to stop or slow down. Like a delayed reaction or a skip in the record.

I think people should research PTSD and get any literature on it that they can find to better understand the severity of the disease. People may call it a disorder but as a person suffering from it I call it a disease because it can kill you and it is very serious. It can shut down a sex drive, cause crying spells and mood swings, and countless other seemingly needless acts. Degrading someone or putting them down may trigger the problems and or cause them to act out. It is important to understand this disease if you are planning on being in the life of a "victim" since what you don't know could actually hurt them even more and create more issues to add to the swirls they already have inside.

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