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The great advantage of working in a dead-end job is that it doesn't really matter what you do in the end. People aren't likely to die if you press the wrong button. The funny thing is that I only realized this recently.

I've been working in dead-end jobs since I started working. My first job was counting cars. There were several different ways to do this. Sometimes I would sit on the side of a stretch of road with a clicker and press the clicker every time a car passed.

The data I recorded would go back to an Analyst who would process it into a report that would be sent to a . . . I don't know . . . a Process Report Reader who might use the information to make recommendations on building a road or adding a bicycle lane or demolishing a school. I don't know to be honest.

Sometimes I'd be sitting there pressing my clicker and a bunch of cars would pass at the same time. I'd just press the clicker a random number of times and for all I knew maybe that exact number of cars had passed by.

This fieldwork was a surprisingly well-paid job with the benefits of meeting lots of interesting people who would take turns sitting beside me, counting the cars traveling in the other direction. One guy I never met but heard about claimed he could tell by sound alone what type and number of vehicles were passing by. He used to lie down in a field alongside whatever road was being surveyed where he'd close his eyes and click. In my opinion that must be very close to an ideal job. The really, really interesting people were only able to hold onto the work ethos for one day at a time and some of them would begin to falter after a couple of hours.

At other times a video camera would be set up on the stretch of road or roundabout that was concerned. The tape would be taken back to our office and we would watch it on fast forward. Music was banned in the workplace because of the danger that we would press the clicker in time to the beat rather than to record the passage of a car. Every time a new person came to work with us, the first thing they would ask was if we had ever seen any accidents. We would shake our heads and resume clicking. Everyone in the office smoked and we had a pleasant little routine where every hour on the half hour we'd go outside for a cigarette. Then we'd go back in and it would be someones turn to make the tea.

I took this job seriously though, because it was my first real, paid job. I even put on a suit when I was going to the interview. Of course I didn't realize at the time just how laid back the place was. Others did at times fall asleep and sometimes I myself forgot what time it was and pressed the clicker 20 or 30 times to catch up, but generally I took it seriously and the results I presented were accurate.

After that I worked in call-centres; doing market research surveys (asking people if they liked soup) or doing tele-sales (asking people if they wanted a FREE credit card); and I also worked as a door-to-door double-glazing salesman (asking people if they wanted a FREE home survey).

I think it's safe to say that my contribution to the world of work is negligible and I'm quite happy about this now.

Learn more about this author, Sean McGoldrick.
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