by Ally Chumley

Created on: August 30, 2007

QUICK QUIZ - Is s/he long-distance relationship material?

1. Are the circumstances which keep us apart UNAVOIDABLE?
IF YES, who is defining "unavoidable"? You or THEM?

2. Is the distance between us TEMPORARY or likely to be prolonged?
If it is likely to be prolonged, the next obvious question is

3. Am I the most important person in my partner's life?
JOBS still revolve around pleasing PEOPLE, so this question remains legitimate

for distance issues which are related to work.

4. When the distance factor began affecting our relationship, what condition was the
relationship in?
For example, did the relationship START as a long-distance one, or did one party
suggest (or allow) a separation to occur mid-way through a relationship? This one
is very telling.

5. What are things like when we're TOGETHER?
Gauge this AFTER the "honeymoon" period of excitement to see each other has worn
off a little. Often, the distance and anticipation of seeing each other is all
that keeps the romantic fire lit.

Long distance love CAN work. If a relationship is capable of being destroyed by a simple matter of linear earth kilometers, you'd have to ask yourself, how REAL can it be? The key issue for spaced-apart lovers is whether the relationship is feasible in the first place - not whether it will survive physical separation. Many times, the only reason the relationship was established is because one or both of the parties has trouble beginning (or maintaining) a face-to-face partnership, taking refuge in the anonymity and "safety" of a long distance liaison. That sounds harsh, but it is MY story. Today, I'm happy to report that my husband and I (who met online) have a strong four years of marriage behind us and a new baby this year. We've beated the odds by getting real with the issues involved in developing a long-distance friendship, with then turned into a romance. If it STARTS as a romance, it is less likely to last - but it is definitely not impossible.

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