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9-Ball. Fast-paced. Exciting. Cool. Think Tom Cruise. The Color of Money. Hustling. The smell of cheap booze. Cigarette smoke. The crack of the cue ball on the break. So raw. So very real. That I can't make. A complete sentence.

Ahh, but there is strategy involved in 9-Ball, and it starts right from the break.

There are four schools of thought on how to approach the break in a game of 9-Ball. School #1: Play for position. School #2: Break to win. School #3: Hit the cue ball really really hard. School #4: Just try not to embarrass yourself.

I've recently become a convert to School #4 after years of firm belief in School #3and many mis-hits that sent the cue ball whizzing off the table followed by howls of laughter from my friends. But most of you who can tell one end of the cue stick from the other should try to follow the approach of either #1 or #2.

School #1 is a strategy for winning the game long-term. The idea is to position the cue ball and others off of the break to your best advantage. The first thing to keep in mind is the placement of the cue ball when breaking. I suggest placing the cue ball approximately four inches to the side of the head spot. Not only does this extra angle give you a better chance of freeing up the 1-ball, it's a wildly fashionable breaking spot amongst pool players.

When breaking, strike the cue ball solidly but don't try to detonate it on impact. Make it hard enough to get a nice spread and hopefully pocket a ball on the break. Remember to hit the 1-ball first which should be set at the front of the rack. In 9-Ball you have to come in contact with the lowest numbered ball on the table first on every shot otherwise your opponent will get "ball in hand," which is not only a major advantage for a player, but the source of the most overused joke in the history of pool.

You should try to aim for the front of the 1-ball, but just off to the near side so that the 1-ball will hopefully squirt off to the side. Also, try to put just a little draw on the shot so that the cue ball will move backwards towards the emptier half of the table. If done correctly you'll have freed up the 1-ball and cue ball from the other balls to give yourself a clear shot. Then you can use your good position to run the table 1 through 9, or try for a quick combo on the 9-ball to win. This is very good strategy, something a thoughtful player would try, and... um... well... oh, screw it. You don't want to do this. You're just as likely to not sink a ball on the break as sink one, so you may give any good position you get to your opponent. Besides, any school of thought other than going for the win may as well be called the School for Wusses.

Just sink that 9-ball right on the break, baby! I suggest placing the cue ball directly on the head spot and aim for the side of the 1-ball, at about a 45 degree angle from straight on. With a little luck, the cue ball will ricochet off the 1-ball, bounce off the side rail and strike the 9-ball, which probably didn't move far from its original spot. With a little more luck, the 9-ball might roll right into a pocket. And with even more luck, your friends might actually see it happen instead of all of them having their backs turned to receive drinks from the waitress at that precise moment, causing you to scream, "None of you saw that? Auuugghhhh!" This is pretty much guaranteed to happen every time a shot like this is made.

But at least you'll have the satisfaction of knowing you made the coolest shot in the game of pool. What a thrill. So wild. So cool. So very annoying. To read this...

Learn more about this author, Mike Mulhern.
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