5 of 14

Write now Article Tools

Page 2 of 3

noise that was bittersweet, way more bitter than sweet. We continued to hear them for the next few days. I wish they would put people having to give birth to stillborns in a sound proof room. Those cries were a constant reminder of what we were losing.

I remember one conversation I had with a new father by the refrigerator that we were allowed to get snacks and drinks out of. He had no idea that I was going through hell while he was having one of the best moments of his life. "Isn't this great?" I replied, "Sure is." I was short with him, but I also didn't want to ruin his day. I had no idea that someone in the next room could be giving birth to a still-born when we gave birth to Isaac, our firstborn. How close joy and sorrow can be baffled me.

The hospital gave my wife a prescription for sleep medicine and we headed home. Our insurance did not cover the pills. It was a long ordeal at Meijer. I remember running into Dr. Alvin Kuest, a professor from our college, and his wife while we were waiting. He was comforting. We sat and waited in misery. We could have spent $3 for one pill, which is all we needed, but we had to spend $30 because the prescription was for 10 pills.

Then we went home. We went to bed. I am sure we held each other in bed and wept. The sleeping pill did not work on Lindsay. I cannot imagine what it is like to lay there in bed knowing that two lifeless babies rest inside of you, two babies you already love. At some point during the night I woke and joined Lindsay who could not sleep. We decided, out of desperation, to go get some oil and anoint Lindsay with it. We wanted a healing so desperately. We read Scriptures of healings and Jesus bringing back the dead. We prayed. It gave us hope that when we would go to the hospital the next day, the babies would be alive.

(Some times I wonder if we should have had the church over to do that. Would things have been differently? I have seen God do great things through the church. I will never know, and I cannot beat myself up for it. I think it is a good suggestion in the future for anyone dealing with something like this to include their church in prayer at the earliest possible moment. Maybe a miracle will happen.)

The next day came. I think the sun barely rose. We asked for another ultrasound when we arrived at the hospital. They thought it was ridiculous since they confirmed the death of our babies the day before. However, the hospital staff will do anything for parents going through what we were going

• << previous page
• 1
• 2
• 3
• next page >>

Add your voice

Know something about Testimonies: Parents of a stillborn child?
We want to hear your view. Write now!