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Dealing with your ex's new love can be challenging, especially when children are involved. After a divorce, accepting that your husband or will move on is difficult, but with children, his or her new interest will be involved in your life on a day to day basis both directly and indirectly. You aren't able to turn a blind eye to their love life as you would if children weren't involved. You aren't able to make a clean break. Your ex will be a constant in your life. Prepare yourself for you children talking about him or her, and even growing to really love this new person in their life.

First of all, put your feelings of jealousy aside. The two of you didn't work. Case closed. You inevitably tried as hard as you could. Instead, be happy that he or she has found someone that they can open their heart to again.

Secondly, never fault his new love for your past. Where as you may not like the idea of him or her, you really don't know this individual, and they may be fantastic examples for your children.

Third, let go of any blame of gripes you have with your ex.

In the best case scenario, the three of you all handle yourself with maturity and keep your children's best interest at heart. Although you may want to gripe, name call and judge your ex's new love, it's important to refrain from doing so, especially around the children. If your ex decides to marry this person, you will have to accept your children will have a step parent whom they must respect and hopefully grow to love. Your children are children, teach them to look up to this new person in their life and encourage them to accept his or her contributions.

As relationship's get more serious, you may have to deal with your ex's new love more often. Organizing pick ups and drop offs, school functions and doctor's appointments will fall between all of you. While you may despise this new person in your life, understand that this is a difficult situation for them too. Ideally, they probably would have preferred a relationship with one person without the pressures of dealing with you and your children. Reflect on how this must be trying on them and assist in any way to alleviate any tension.

By being happy for your ex, you are well on the way to healing yourself. Knowing that there is a life after divorce is uplifting. Instead of dwelling about his moving on, realize that one day you will move on too. Be as considerate and compassionate about including this new person in your children's life as you would expect your ex spouse to do for someone that you may begin to date. Look at it this way, your ex's new fling is the guinea pig...you'll work out the kinks for when you introduce someone new into your family circle.

Learn more about this author, Molly Carter.
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