by Jessica Kirchner

Created on: August 28, 2007

I definitely do not feel as though screaming parents are out of control so long as there are certain points to it. There are extremes both ways regarding screaming parents.
My daughter is 3 yrs. old. I will freely admit there have been times I have screamed at her. I try to mostly keep calm so long as she is out of harms way. I find when she is about to do something that is or could be harmful to her I tend to scream. Sometimes on a bad day we will both tend to scream at each other. If I am stressed she feels it and is as well. It doesn't change our love for one another, but can make it harder on both of us.

I was with her father for many years and her first 3 yrs. I have only recently left. I have found that there is a horrible effect screaming constantly has on a child. Even if it is not directly pointed at the child it does affect them. He would scream at me, and at her. She took him screaming at her better than if he were screaming at me. It caused numerous behaviors on her part. I am still dealing with the confusion and behaviors. Recently she began hitting me. I explain why she shouldn't and I try not to scream. Instead I find the tone of voice, the look, and body language work better. I tend to scream when she is in danger as it grabs her attention. When she goes to see her father for visitation she comes home in certain moods at times. I try to understand as I know he is hard to deal with. She will be moody, whiny and disrespectful. So I talk her through it.
That is one extreme of screaming is the constant type. It makes the child nervous, insecure and scared. The other extreme is never screaming. If a child goes through growing up not knowing about screaming. Then when in the real world her boss or someone screams at her she will not be able to cope. They need to know there is a happy medium and that there are times to be able to shout. Where as screaming non stop at them will cause them to feel as though they need to be limited in their own forms of expression. Not knowing why they are going to be screamed at, and having a hard time distinguishing between the good things they do as well as the bad.

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