1 of 27

Write now Article Tools

"I'll bet you twenty bucks the next car that passes the house is red."

"You're on."

Of course the next car is blueor black or silver. Anything but red.

"Pay up, loser!"

Surely you've come across people men and women alike who communicate like this. Not only do they bet on anything from the lottery, bingo, and sports to "Hey, I bet you ten bucks that light turns green before you count to five," but they also lose more often than not.

Wearing rundown poker faces with bloodshot eyes, they check-raise their way through most weekday evenings (and certainly every weekend night), sitting on hard, bad-for-your-back chairs, in a refurbished crack house, playing Texas Hold Em with other degenerate gamblers. With a thick cloud of smoke swirling above their heads, they bluff, limp, and muck into the wee hours of the morning because they don't have to wake up for their day job, because gambling is their day job, they proudly profess.

Many of these fanatics carry their gear with them. And no, that's not a gun case in most of their backseats. That shiny silver box contains chips and cards just in case they run into a fellow card junkie who, at the drop of the dice, is willing to see who can lose their money faster.

Long gone are the days of blue-haired, chainsmoking, little old ladies, trolls in hand, heading to church basements for a weekly game of bingo. Video poker, keno, and slot machines are no longer found only in Nevada and New Jersey, as more and more states are legalizing gambling, allowing business owners to pop a machine or two into their restaurant and bowling alley dcor. And sadly, the lottery no longer consists of buying just one ticket for the 3-digit, since state lotteries are spitting out multi-number games by the shoeful, almost as quickly as people are pooling together at the workplace, pitching in hundreds of dollars to try their luck to beat the odds. Gambling is no longer a hobby, nor is it even just a sport. It is a job.

Since poker is the societal obsession du jour, enthusiasts had to find a way to accommodate everyone, even the gamblers whose cash flow is so non-existent that they can't actually play cards, either because they were broke to begin with or they lost their shirt (and house and car and dignity) at the poker table. The solution? Several additional occupations (humor my word choice, please) to this livelihood. My personal favorite: the Poker Masseuse. With no background in Massage Therapy, this prestigious position includes young, barely-dressed,

• 1
• 2
• 3
• next page >>

Add your voice

Know something about Costs of a gambling lifestyle?
We want to hear your view. Write now!