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Two men in suits walked up to my bar and asked for a couple of halves of Harveys Best. They told me they were from CAMRA, the independent yet very influential real ale monitoring body. 'Do we have to pay for these?' they asked. I explained that as I had, it was only fair that they should! Anyway, that's not the point of this tale. They then did something very impolite. They held their glasses up to the light to check it's clarity. Within seconds, every other beer drinker in the pub was doing the same! A bit like pointing up to the sky in a busy street and watching everyone else do the same!

The point I'm making is that their act was, well, not good etiquette. If you want to check your beer, be discreet. Don't give everyone the impression that there's something dodgy about your ale.

So this is how it should go. Approach the bar with a smile on your face. Ask for your beer politely and clearly. Try to look the barmaid in her eyes, not at her chest no matter what the temptation. Walk away from the bar trying not to spill any of your foaming pint. Smell the ale and smile, then take your first sip, followed by an appreciative lick of the lips. Spend about fifteen minutes enjoying your beer then return step one!

Beer should be savored, not gulped down. Otherwise you run the risk of getting a frothy nose and a wet shirt. There is also the risk of an attack of belching, then your etiquette flies straight out the window.

Oh, and by the way - whilst beer from a hand pump is preferable, if you do resort to drinking bottled stuff, never drink from the bottle. It's rude. Plus of course, the gas won't have a chance to escape fully which will effect the taste of the beer. And you won't get the full flavour, since it is enhanced greatly by the aroma entering the nose from the glass.

So sir - what's your pleasure?

Learn more about this author, Keith Hillman.
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