by Brian Hurren

Created on: August 28, 2007

Things I don't understand about chocolate cake.

You know, the universe is a strange and wonderful place. Full of interesting and exiting things. Our mind have probed the depths of the universe and delved into many of its deepest secrets and unlocked a meriad of mysteries. As for science, we have cracked atoms, sent probes to the edge of the solar system. Built machines beyond our wildest imaginings. But there is still somethings that I just don't understand.

Chocolate cake, like chocolate cake, what the hell is that stuff about! I just don't understand chocolate cake. Like you spend all this time mixing it up. Then you dip your finger in the batter, and taste it. You know that you won't put all of the mixture into the trey because you really like to eat the batter. Hey, everyone does it! Right! Save a little bit over.
The part that I really don't understand is this: why bother cooking it. If the batter tastes so good why bother cooking the cake. It is quite disappointing when you spend all this time mixing and baking the thing only to find that the batter tasted better than the cake. Why not just dish it up raw and call it a pudding? Sprinkle some chocolate hail and nuts on it or something.
Imagine this scenario. Some friends come over for tea but you forgot that you invited them. You see them coming down the drive. In a blind panic you search through your kitchen. Empty, empty, all the cupboards are empty because you don't do your shopping until tomorrow. So in a frantic fit you wip up a bowl of chocolate cake mix. There is a knock on the door and you let them in. over the course of the meal the conversation goes something like this:

"John, this is such a wonderful desert."
"why, thank you" (cheesy grin.)
"So, tell me John, what is it?"
"Oh ah, ah, Algerian flemage a la chocolate."

Of course you know dam well that it is an uncooked chocolate cake with chocolate chips whipped cream and ice cream. But hey, they will never know.
Another thing is that if you take a cake mix and steam it it becomes a steam pudding. If you make it a bit stiffer and deep fry it you can hang it on a hook and call it a donut. Make it thinner and pour it into a fry pan it becomes a pancake, but none of these things tastes as good as the uncooked batter, so why cook it. To me cooking it would be the destruction of high art. A complete act of vandalism.
So this is one of the things I just don't understand. It's up there with nipples on men. Nipples on men, now what the hell is that all about. What was god thinking when he did that. So if you died and went to heavan and you found you self standing in front of his almightiness, what is the one thing you would do? Would you rip open your shirt and show him you nipples and say "what the hell were you thinking man, what the hell are these!"
along with the cooking of chocolate cake, nipples not only proove that there is a god, but also that he is on drugs. The almighty is drunk in charge of a universe. He is stoned one a drug that only a god can handle. If you have enough faith you can sit on his right hand side, this is the side closest to the drugs. Well anyway, the world is full of things that I just don't understand, like nipples and the cooking of chocolate cake.... o.k! Enough ramblings, bye bye seeya!

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