I have one son. He is five, and tomorrow is his first day of school...and I am scared to death!

Maybe "scared to death" isn't the best possible phrase, but it's close to the truth. Today, in preparation for the big event tomorrow, I had a discussion with my son about "private places" so he would be better able to judge inappropriate behavior not only with adults but with other kids. He already knows the proper names for his body parts, but I hadn't talked to him about what is okay and what is NOT okay. Some people might think this was wrong, but I don't want to send him out into the world unprepared, even if that world is only kindergarten.

I explained to him what the word kindergarten meant and its etiology.

I worked with him on his clock-reading so he would be better able to tell what time he got to go to school and what time mommy would come and pick him up.

I fed him supper, gave him a shower, and read him an extra book at bed-time.

Now, I sit here reading articles from other Helium writers who have been through this experience with tears in my eyes...I can't figure out if it is because he is growing up and this is a major milestone for him, or if it is out of worry because I don't know all the people he will be around...maybe it's because I'm worried he will get into trouble. Maybe I'm nervous because I do not look like a soccer mom and perhaps the teacher (whom I've already met) will take any misgivings she has about me out on my kid...not consciously, but through transference.

I'm sure millions of mothers out there have felt the exact same way...but when it's going on with YOU, it never feels like there is someone who knows what you are feeling.

Nonetheless, my child is going to school tomorrow! In the morning I will get him up, give him breakfast, have him brush his teeth...the normal routine, only earlier, and then I will take him to a place where I have to rely on strangers to make sure my son is safe and well taken care of. I refuse to be one of those mothers who hangs around and cries as soon as her kid is out of sight...no, I'll wait until I get home.

Learn more about this author, Jessi Mills.
Click here to send author comments or questions.

---

Add your voice

Know something about Reflections: Your child's first day of school?
We want to hear your view. Write now!