by Erin Kenny

Created on: August 27, 2007

Raising children is easy regardless of their gender. In fact as a mother of no children at all, I can't really think of an easier job. With a good TV, the right Ritalin prescription and a healthy dose of pawning them off on other people, raising your kids can be as stress-free and enjoyable as taking care of houseplants.

Despite this inherent easiness to care for, however, boys have a slight edge when it comes to simplicity. Although economically, the cost of raising boys and girls tends to even out over time (boys eat more, girls buy more cosmetics), their preferred entertainment is where the gender gap first appears. Girls are social creatures who crave constant attention and love to talk. On the days when you can't find a friend for her to go home with after school, you might end up stuck in the middle of a non-stop yap fest. This could put a damper on any mother's evening.

Boys on the other hand, enjoy being outside as much as possible. A good way to encourage this behavior is to lock your son out of the house when you need a little alone time. Simply provide some sort of ball and he will happily while away the hours until you've had a chance to drink away the shakes.

On the rare occasions when playing outside isn't an optionfloods, blizzards, pesky volcanic eruptionsvideo games provide a good solution. If you have any money left over from your trip to Vegas, I would recommend buying one of these for your son. Don't waste your time if you have a daughter. For whatever reason, video game manufacturers still haven't gotten the message that parents want to ignore their daughters as well, so unfortunately, most of the games have been marketed and designed for boys.

If Nintendo, Playstation and XBox would design more games for girls, then in addition to closing the gender gap in entertainment, they could help close the gap in child-rearing as well. Instead of constantly yammering, girls could be glued to games about applying lipstick or doing dishes properly. For now however, simply plug in the Wii, shut the door to your son's room and enjoy your highball.

In addition to having easier-to-tolerate styles of play, boys also come out ahead when it comes to parental attachment. Since girls tend to cause fewer disruptions, be less messy and shower more frequently, it is easy for parents to become attached. This makes kicking your daughter out on her eighteenth birthday slightly more emotional. It may take as much as half an hour after midnight to get over it. With a son, you'll be able to pop the cork on that Champaign mere seconds after sending him on his way.

In conclusion, if your condom breaks during sex, do a handstand because that will turn your "little accident" into a male. And that male will make it even easier to keep your life exactly the way it is now.

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