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Dissolving a long term partnership is akin to rebirth. Having, for years, consulted with one another on every major issue and then no longer having that sounding board beside you, casts one into a realm of total confusion.
Should I? Shouldn't I? Procrastination is the disease of divorce, for even though one always had the ability to reach important decisions alone, the "stamp of approval" somehow always served as a safety net. Now, you are left walking a tightrope across the chasm of life with no life support but your own courage.

The road to rehabilitation after divorce is a long and lonely one and so many fall into the trap of co-dependency with another statistic. We often reach out to the first willing partner who themselves are still walking wounded and more often than not with disastrous results. This is not an opinion for two years at least!
We usually have a couple of kids to contend with, the two salary budget is no more and our married friends, bless their souls, rub salt into the wound by attempting to keep us in the loop. All that was familiar is no more.
There is no quick fix. The healing of a deeply wounded heart takes time and a non negotiable profound love of self.
I can only, drawing from my own experience, offer you some suggestions.
Keep a journal, which in the future will attest to your strength in the face of adversity.
Draw comfort from your children and never shut them out, they too are in pain and pain shared is pain healed.
Seek medical help when the going gets so tough that you want to curl up in a corner and die.
Wake up every day and whisper, "thank you for my life". One morning, in the not too distant future, you will mean it!
Create a mantra. I used to say "I think I can, I think I can" over and over again until one day I said "I know I can, I know I can."
But above all, know this! You are a unique creation. Not two people but one and the agony that you are experiencing right now is forging you in the furnace of life to step boldly out onto a new path, one that has been created especially for you.
Don't despair. When you rise up once more, you will hold out your hand to another and say............

Learn more about this author, Susan Farrell.
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