by Laura Lytton

Created on: August 27, 2007

If you think your partner may be gearing up to asking THE question or if your engaged and heading for marriage it is important not to get carried away with the romance of the situation and to think clearly about your future with your prospective husband. Females (of which I am one) are notoriously guilty of glossing over the cracks in order to construct a perfect world, only to find that some time down the road the gloss cracks and the world isn't quite as we imagine. The key to formulating questions for your prospective groom that will reveal any cracks, is to first be honest with yourself. You may love this man but could you remain married to him for the rest of your life - having considered this you will be in a better position to formulate your important questions.

My suggestion for an important question is to find out what your man wants for you and him in the future. Does his future view match yours? If it doesn't discuss the mismatch now instead of hitting a brick wall 5 years down the line. Discuss starting a family - be open and honest about your views and ask him to be honest in return. Discuss anything and everything that is likely to impact adversely on your relationship - does he have ageing parents who are likely to need care. Will your parents need care - how would he feel. These are the sorts of questions that can reveal alot about a persons 'world view' and it is from his answers that you will be able to guage whether or not the gap between your views is small enough to bridge or if it is so large that your marriage is likely to get stuck in it as some point down the line.

Being honest and open and ensuring that your singing from the same hymn sheet is vital here - and don't be tempted to manipulate him into saying what he thinks you want to hear - down this path you will find the road to disaster, not wedded bliss!

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