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Postpartum depression can express itself in lethargy or apathy, but it can also be feelings of anger, powerlessness, and anxiety or irritabilility. I expereinced post-partum depression when my first daughter was born. She was colicky, cried day and night, and I loved her to pieces. I never felt like I didn't want to take care of her, but my fatigue led to irritability and impatience. Sometimes I found myself sitting on the floor hitting myself on the knee or slamming my fist into a wall. I blamed my trouble on the fact that I didn't have a mom or sister or any friends in my new neighborhood to help me out and give me advice. Beacause I was breastfeeding her, I didn't want to talk to my doctor about my feelings. I thought that all he could do would be to prescribe a drug that I didn't want to take.

Oh, how I wish I'd not been so stubborn! Young moms: be gentle with yourselves. Get the help you need, for whatever you need help with!

I'm thankful for those hard times with my first child. This is why. One evening when my hasband was home with our crying daughter, I took a walk at a park on the other side of the river. I saw a mom with a calm baby resting in her arms and playing with her hair while she watched an older brother and sister running around the field. I was jealous! So envious. That was the baby I wanted, the cuddly, sweet, easygoing child. And so it was that when my daughter was only ten months old, I was open to having another baby. My son was born nine months later.

My husband and I once joked that our daughter ran out of fussiness when during her first year, then became an angel. When my second child was born, I did indeed have that charming cuddly baby and a charming toddler, too. Post-partum depression passed my by that year. It wouldn't return until after the birh of or second daughter.

Then the lethargic, depressive form hit me like a frying pan. Still in denial about the fact of it being depression, I didn't recover well or soon. But once I sought accepted the help I needed, I found healing and peace.

Learn more about this author, Sarah Keyes.
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