by Tom Sumner

Created on: August 26, 2007

The Pony Express, Aliens and Robots at The Walmart

I love tabloid headlines like UFO ALIEN CURED ME OF AIDS WITH MIRACLE CELEBRITY DIET. But when you read the story it has little to do with the headline. This is about my drive back to Flint from Los Angeles and the merry-mix-ups that occur from too many miles, too little sleep, and too much imagination. And there are references to everything in the title BELIEVE ITOR NOT.

I am a fan of the Bob & Tom show. The humor is clever, eclectic and often has a musical element that you don't find other places. I don't have to avoid listening to them around my children anymore thanks to Janet Jackson and because my children are older now and live with their mother in Grand Rapids.

I mention Bob & Tom because of a guy on their show who called off his wedding mid-ceremony and decided to become a cowboy after being shunned by all of his friends and family.

Becoming a cowboy doesn't sound too bad. Most of us have imagined we were going to be something romantic when we grow up. For girls (when I was growing up) it was nurses, ballerinas and fairy tale princesses being swept away by knights in shining armor with horses. The knight thing really stuck with most girls I've known and it's a life-long challenge for boys who wanted to be firemen, policemen and cowboys.

When my daughter, Adison, was a little girl she couldn't decide between being a cocktail waitress or a veterinarian. It seemed to me she could manage both if she worked her way through vet school as a cocktail waitress.

The cocktail waitress thing was my fault just ask her mother. She'll tell you that I dragged my innocent young children to bars all of the time.

And I did.

Of course what she won't tell you is that I used to take my daughters there in the afternoons when I was setting up my drums for a gig which helped pay for ballet classes and horse back riding and all those dolls that started out as Barbies and ended up as Susan Powders. (Look it up.) Her sister Lizzy always wanted to be a Doctor. That's her mother's fault. Adi is currently studying to be a lawyer. I think she's going to spend her life in a different bar than her mother feared.

When I was little I wanted to be James Bond. I still want to be James Bond. Of course, back then it was for the Bond women. Now it's forwell it's still for the Bond women. If there are any women offended by that please be shaken not stirred.

I also wanted to be The Man from U.N.C.L.E., Batman, The Green Hornet and Superman. The Superman

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