Trust Your Instincts!

If there is one thing I learned in my last relationship, it is to trust your instincts. If I had done so, it would have saved me a lot of heartache and I would have been spared many injuries.

I met my last boyfriend through an online dating site. We began emailing each other in December of 2006, and finally met in February of 2007. In that time, we exchanged several emails about various things, from the sobering to the ridiculous. We enjoyed getting to know each other, but something didn't seem right to me.

This feeling first came to me when I asked him about his faith. I am a Christian, and my faith is very important to me. It is so important to me that I will not consider a relationship with a man who does not esteem his faith to be of equal importance. I do not want to be first in his life. I want to play second to Christ, always. At any rate, I remember asking my soon-to-be about his faith, as he claimed he was passionate about his faith. I wanted him to explain to me what his faith meant to him. His answer seemed very canned, very rote. I remember thinking that something didn't seem right. He seemed to be telling me what he thought I might like to hear. However, I chalked up to the fact that we were communicating via email, and considered that perhaps he just isn't a strong writer and does not express himself well in writing. I gave him the benefit of the very significant doubt, and tried to shake off the feeling that something was wrong.

Still, we were great friends. We enjoyed talking on the phone for hours, and it seemed to only make sense that we would meet each other and see what came of the meeting.

A few months and one failed relationship later, he and I met. When we met, he seemed very sweet, but he did not make a good first impression on me. I did not find him intellectually engaging, and even thought he may be just a little bit gay. Still, he was very sweet, and had gone out of his way to meet me. I thought I would give him another chance, convincing myself that maybe he just didn't make a good first impression.

So, here it is, he did not make a good impression on me via email or in person. Yet, we still ended up having a three month long relationship, the entire duration of which I kept convincing myself that the nagging doubts I had about him were just my imagination. He had gone from being sweet and sensitive, to telling me what kind of music to listen to, what to wear when we saw

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