Deciding to end a marriage is a heart wrenching decision. Ideally, when we say "I do" it is for better or worse. Sometimes, situation and circumstance get the better of us.

If you or your children are the victims of physical abuse, leave immediately. Sticking around, hoping the abuser has a change of heart is unrealistic. Stay with a friend, family member, or at a shelter. Refuse visits that are unsupervised and assemble a list of any hospital visits, friends that have witnessed abuse, or emails of phone messages threatening you. Having proof will assist you in divorce proceedings and keep your children from being used as pawns.

After an affair, if you and your spouse are unable to resolve issues or forgive each other, sometimes it is time to cut ties. Rather than live in a house rehashing past hurts, trying to one up the other, or seething in self hatred or resentment towards your husband or wife, it is healthy to move on.

Sometimes people marry very young and throughout the years grow apart. Although I am not an advocate of divorce, sometimes people grow into drastically different people. Abuses, hurts, and mistakes haunt us and change us. Death of loved ones, especially children, can scar us for life and meld us into someone we weren't. Before walking away form a marriage, I suggest you seek counseling and try to work on your issues personally and together. Sometimes when you think all is lost, a beacon of hope uncovers itself.

Similar to an affair, sometimes your spouse can do unthinkable things breaking all bonds of trust. Embezzling money, obsessive lying and destructive behavior can make a marriage a negative place. After marrying, a friend of mine found out her husband had been married before, had embezzled money and forged her name on credit cards, withdrew all the money and left her with hundred of thousands of dollars in debt. If someone married you under false pretenses, leave the marriage before they can cause more financial, physical or emotional damage.

Leaving a marriage or relationship can leave you feeling devastated, humiliated and thinking the worst of yourself. Instead of dwelling in self pity realize that through every adversity there is a lesson. Because this relationship failed, does not make you a failure. Learn from your mistakes and experiences and hold your head high. You are only that much smarter walking into whatever awaits you.

Learn more about this author, Molly Carter.
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