Infidelity is one of the leading causes of divorce. Upon learning your spouse has cheated, it's common to feel rage, distrust, sorrow, humiliation, or try and blame yourself for his or her actions. Allow yourself to feel these emotions. If you and your spouse try to reconcile your marriage, understand that you have along road ahead of you, yet many people have survived affairs and come out stronger and more emotionally aware.

Give yourself space. After finding out about an infidelity, we need time to process what we are feeling. Ask your spouse to leave or go away for a few days. Let yourself cry, scream and yell. Be angry and feel sorry for yourself. It's ok. talk to someone about what you are experiencing. See a therapist or turn to a trusted family member, friend or religious leader. Stick with someone who isn't quick to judge and will still support you if you decide to return to your spouse. When you feel like you can confront your spouse, do so. Don't rush yourself.

Start an open communication about the affair. Where as you may not want details, and they may not offer them, you are entitled to know if it is over, or if your spouse plans to continue seeing this person. If they have no plans of stopping the affair, it is clear that your relationship is over no matter how you feel. If your husband or wife has stopped seeing this other person, you both must acknowledge that something is wrong in your relationship.

A lot of affairs have little to do with our spouses, but how we feel about ourselves. If a man or woman has low self esteem or feels unsuccessful, an affair may be a way for them to feel empowered. The cheating spouse should come to terms with the reason he or she strayed. If there are issues in their own life, or the way they feel about themselves that need to be addressed, then they need to seek the help of a trained professional. If there are issues in your relationship, you need to be open to hearing them.

In a calm manner, you and your spouse need to discuss problem areas in your relationship. Try to refrain from placing blame on each other. Although you can admit to things you've done wrong, or things you need to work on, that does not mean you accept blame for their bad behavior. Assessing your relationship is fair and healthy, and no matter the mistakes you've made you are in no way responsible for their infidelity.

The two of you need to discuss if you are both willing to work to repair your relationship.

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