by Angie Haggstrom

Created on: August 25, 2007

After a serious fight, you and your spouse discovered things have gotten much worse between the two of you than originally thought. The two of you cannot find the spark and joy that brought you together in the first place. The trust and love is gone. A typical demonstration of each other's feelings consists of screaming and yelling which does nothing good for either of you. Is your spouse cheating? All methods of help have failed and time is only making things worse. The sign that a relationship is over are crystal clear. It is hard to make a decision that will change your life so drastically. The hardest part is paying attention to the indicators rather than waving them off hoping things will get better. Often times, people refuse to consider the idea that it might be a wise time to separate and salvage what is left of your broken dreams.

If you or your children are suffering mental, emotional, or physical cruelty at the hands of your spouse, it is definitely time to leave. All human beings have the right to feel safe in their own home. Even after extensive counseling, the victim will spend the rest of his or her life struggling with the mental and emotional effects of abuse. You need to protect yourself and your children first. Leave as soon as the abuse starts; the longer you stay the more extreme things will get. Your spouse needs serious help and needs to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that he or she has changed. Your spouse needs to come to a complete understanding of how he or she affected the rest of the family before beginning to consider repairing the relationship.

It is time to move on when all systems of help have failed to restore hope, love, and respect in a marriage. If you feel that you and your spouse are failing to meet each other's needs in any aspect of the marriage, counseling and communication are definite requirements. Threatening divorce at the first sign of trouble is pointless. All relationships will go through tough times, but what is important is how these issues are dealt with. Problems strengthen a relationship by forcing a couple to work together to overcome them while learning and growing. Sometimes a couple just needs a gentle shove in the right direction. After all, spouses, like children, do not come with instructions; the best way to learn is by trial and error. However, there is no point spending the rest of your lives beating a dead horse. Leaving might be the only option left if a couple simply cannot or will not work together.

Infidelity

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