by Kerry Johnson

Created on: August 25, 2007

Let's examine ways in reducing problem behavior and once you identify what triggers problem behaviors, you can use that information to respond more positively to your child's needs. Ways to get started:

1. Change the Setting
Change the environment, activity, or people involved, so your child feels secure. For example, if your child becomes over-stimulated when playing games with her friends, you might recommend she avoid multiple distractions such as turning off the TV or try a different activity such as coloring or playing outside.

2. Respond Calmly
Respond to the situation calmly and without your own anger or emotion. This is by far the most important skill you need to learn. If your child's behavior has made you angry, take a few minutes to calm down before deciding how to respond. Example: Your child is angry and hits you. Don't emotionally react. That would play right into the behavior giving him the attention he is wanting. Address the behavior but careful not to show surprise, fear or anger.

3. Teach Alternate Behaviors
Teach your child alternate and more socially appropriate ways of expressing what he wants or needs. For example, if your child fights over sharing toys with friends or siblings, teach him the process of borrowing ("Can I play with your puzzle for a little while?") and bartering ("I'll loan you my book if I can play with your puzzle.") Model this behavior for him by showing respect for his possessions.

4. Offer Choices
Offer choices and opportunities for your child to have more control over her environment. For example, if your child is a fussy eater, ask her what she'd like to eat, provide her with options ("Would you like a peanut-butter or tuna-fish sandwich?"), or make her part of the process ("Why don't you help me cook dinner/pick out groceries?"). Remember children with problem behaviors many times have processing issues as well; be sure to limit those choices to two or three. Children with processing and impulsive issues often have problems making choices. Abstract choices such as "go play with your toys" are to overwhelming for them. Try saying, "do you want to play with Spiderman or Lego's" show both toys then state "pick one." Doing this without emotion from you gives the child the opportunity to choose without becoming overwhelmed.

5. Notice the Positive
Notice positive behavior when it occurs and provide genuine praise. For example, "That was very nice of you to let your brother play with your toy." I even say after a meltdown

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