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King Nekka and the Fruity Things

It happened a long time ago in a kingdom on the far side of the world. Well, actually, it wasn't that long ago; come to think of it, it was pretty recently if I remember correctly. But it was a school night so we couldn't stay out very late. In other words, it happened a little while ago, and it didn't last very long. Yeah. I guess that about covers it.

Well, not exactly. As the world is essentially round, there is no apparent far side of the world. There is a maximum circumference distance from one fixed point to another, but three-dimensionally, the relativistic effects circumvent any natural linear distance. Therefore, any far side would be both close and far simultaneously once any attempt to reach this point was utilized. So this kingdom couldn't actually be located on the far side of a circular surfaced plane unless there were also close sides, and that, without any real debate, would be impossible. If one could argue closeness as well as farness, then naturally accepted parameters would slowly melt away and give rise to the horrors of twisted logic offered by current chaos theories.

But is any of this theoretical garbage really necessary for the telling of this particular story? Well, not really. But it sure sounded good at the time. If it's any consolation, the story begins now.

On this far side of the planet (yeah, I know; just accept it and read on), there was a kingdom of creatures ruled by Nekka the Just. He wasn't named this because he was really just as in fair, but because he was generally a boring guy and was commonly referred to as "just" something, like just another king.

Anyway, King Nekka ruled about ten minutes before his subjects started to complain that nothing special was happening in the kingdom. Citizens would get up every morning, brush both of their teeth, slaughter their neighbors with vicious abandon, have dinner and then go to bed for the night. As adventurous types, they wanted more than they were experiencing.

That's where the fruity things came in. The fruity things lived in the next valley over from King Nekka's lands on a small island in the middle of Central Lake, the first body of water one came across in a series of three lakes. It was here, on the previously mentioned island of this same paragraph, that the species of the fruity things first evolved.

Unlike most creatures of the planet who lived on land, the fruity things did not evolve from sea creatures that climbed out of the waters. You see,

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