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It is time to say goodbye when....

You find yourself looking forward to nights that your partner works late or goes out with friends.

You stop waiting up for your partner.

You start hiding things from your partner, such as event invites or birthday parties. You do so in hopes that your partner will have to work or has made other plans leaving you to go by yourself. You know that you will have a better time without him.

You start taking off your wedding band when you are out and about alone.

You stop talking about future plans with your partner such as starting a family or adding to it, buying a house, quitting your job, etc. Basically anything that requires the two of you together in the indefinite sense.

You find yourself becoming more outgoing and friendly, especially with the opposite sex. This usually tends to start happening at work or on outings where your spouse is not present. Co-workers start telling you how engaging and fun you have suddenly become.

You start imagining what it would be like to be single again, finding yourself envying unmarried men or women.

You begin to crave attention from the opposite sex. You want to be noticed again, desired. You become more aware of how you look at all times. You may even begin wearing make-up to the gym.

You start talking down about your spouse when he isn't around, especially to the opposite sex. You never have anything nice to say about him anymore. You may even find yourself telling people that you think your partner is cheating on you even though you know he isn't. You do this because you want the opposite sex to see you as more available thinking that because your partner treats you badly, they just might have a chance with you. You love the attention.

You begin to make drastic changes that are extremely unlike you. -Before I left my first husband, I cut off my trademark long hair to right underneath my ears.

I KNEW it was time to say goodbye unquestionably when...

I cringed when his leg would graze mine underneath the covers. I started sleeping above the sheets to avoid touching him.

Crying in the shower became a part of my daily routine.

I stopped making excuses to avoid sex and just said no.

I planned a week long excursion out of state to go see my mom. I told him that I needed some time alone to "figure things out". Once away, I felt an amazing sense of relief. I cut his phone calls short while I was away. I didn't wear my wedding ring and I did NOT miss him. I didn't go out, I just stayed home with my mom and watched lifetime movies.

I began confiding in a few people at work and asking for advise.

I avoided his family and refused to take their calls.

Divorce no longer seemed quite so unthinkable anymore.

On a side note, I have to say that I am NOT 100% in support of divorce. However, I am in no way in support of paying for a mistake (marrying the wrong person as I did) by living the rest of your life in a state of unhappiness either.

A friend of mine who was considering divorce recently asked me how I knew when it was time to let go of my marriage and move on. I didn't spout off a list of all the ways I knew. Instead, I just looked at her and said, "I just knew.. you just know when it's over, you just do."

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