13 of 16

Write now Article Tools

In laws: one of the many casualties of a divorce. These are the people you considered family for all the years of your marriage, and now, legally, they are no longer related. They are, however, immediate family to your children making it very important to keep a good relationship going with your former in-laws.

The single most important thing to remember in a relationship with your former in-laws, is that your ex is their child. No matter what your ex has done to you, his parents do not want to hear the details. Never ask them to choose where their loyalty lies, because you will likely be left in the dark. It is important to keep in mind that the divorce is not their fault, and just like your children, they shouldn't feel that they have to referee or defend their loved one. It is safest to avoid the topic of your ex all together.

Never try to use your children as a way to punish your ex. Clearly this is vastly unfair to children, yet many people make the same mistake. Just as the divorce is not their fault, it is also not the fault of the grandparents and it wouldn't be fair to anyone involved to disturb the grandparent/grandchild relationship because of the demise of your marriage.

Respect them as you children's grandparents in the same way you respected them as your spouse's parents. Acknowledge them on holidays and birthdays. If you don't want to buy a gift from the children, at least have them make a card, and call their grandparents on all major holidays. This is a great way to let them know that you still appreciate their role in your life.

A divorce certainly changed your relationship with your in-laws. Those who were once family are no longer. This does not mean that a positive relationship can't be achieved. It is not only possible, but also crucial for the health and well being of your now smaller family.

Learn more about this author, Melissa Myrick.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about How to deal with former in-laws?
We want to hear your view. Write now!