by Melissa Myrick

Created on: August 23, 2007

One thing that many people don't expect in a divorce is the loss of their friends. Many friends have divided loyalty, many being the spouse of your former spouse, making the relationships too difficult to continue. When this happens, many newly divorced people find themselves even lonelier than they were from the loss of their spouse.

The parent with custody often has the hardest time finding new friends. Not only has their workload with the children increased, giving them less time, but also making it harder to spend time with friends they do meet. New friends who also have children in the age range of your own can be very helpful in new friendships. This allows you to spend time with the new friend, while bringing along your child and amusing them all at the same time.

Community places such as playgrounds, parks and churches can be a great way to meet other parents. If you are not already involved in your child's school, now is the time to become involved. With America's near 60% divorce rate, you are very likely to find other single parents there. Schools have never ending need for parent volunteers for field trips; classroom and event help as well as other things. The more you get involved, the more people you will meet, and the more likely one of them will become a friend.

Something that can actually be a positive of having to find new friends, is that you have the opportunity to meet other people who share your interests, not simply people you inherited as spouses of your partner's friends. If you enjoy reading, find a local book club. If you enjoy cooking, maybe a cooking class would be a good place for you. Whatever your interest is, it is very likely there are others out there with the same interests.

Most importantly, don't allow yourself to become isolated. This leads to depression, and your children will easily be able to pick up on that. Divorce is very hard on children, and seeing their custodial parent miserable does nothing to help their state of mind. A happier parent makes for happier children. As an adult, finding friends is much more difficult than it was as a child. Friends for single adults are just as important, if not more so, and should be sought out and treasured whenever possible.

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