The men who REALLY get the women are men who are real. Not made of plastic with star-like looks and abilities. These men only appear to get the women, but they sure have a job keeping them.

Like most women I find it hard to resist a man with a good character who pays me respectful individual attention, even if he isn't great looking. So the first thing to do is to pay the woman you are interested in lots of individual attention. The problem is that I find that the nicer men are the less confident he is and the more fearful he is of rejection, and he just assumes that the woman will not possibly be interested in him. They give mixed messages, I mean he might start to show an interest then suddenly he gets scared and starts ignoring you or behaving badly towards you. When that happens to me I just think "Jerk", and move on!

So stop acting like a jerk, stop acting full stop, be true to yourself and others. Admiration is an important part of attraction, everyone thinks that the person they are attracted to is better than them. Only don't let that thought lead you to think that they are too good for you. And even if she doesn't like you, so what? Every man is rejected sometime in his life.

Treat women as appreciated friends - as equals, but remember they are different from men. She may not be impressed with the things your mates might be, so don't try to impress, you might put your foot in it. Just be yourself. Respect her in what you say and what you do. One way we show we respect others is by making sure we smell acceptable and look decent when we are with them!

If you think a lady is special and you would like to know her better be clear about wanting to get to know her better but nothing else. Let her see that you have singled her out for individual attention. Don't be pushy, don't be needy - show her that you have a life - you like her a lot but you don't need her. Ask for her number, phone her like every couple of weeks but just for a chat. Invite her out but just for a chat. See how she responds. But when you begin asking to see her on her own you had better be clear about your intentions, you might simply say for example: "I love ... restaurant, and I would like to treat you to dinner there, I thought I might enjoy your company. Would you like to have a dinner with me?". You have nothing to loose in saying that but you are making it clear that you enjoy being with her and you want to spend more time with her.

If you are not sure yet that you really like her my advice is do not give her individual attention. You can still get to know her better, but always in company. I advise this to protect you both because sometimes women, with reason accuse men of messing them around, or just flirting with them, and once she starts thinking that you are doing that you will get the reputation of being a "player" because women express their feelings to their friends, women talk to their friends.

Be real - don't try to be someone you are not, but yes improve yourself if you want to. Be noticeable, I mean don't hide away, love yourself and respect yourself - women can see that and a man who is sure of who he is is attractive.

Learn more about this author, Saron Maramo.
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