Search Helium

Home > Home & Garden > Gardening > Gardening (Other)

True gardening stories: How it all went terribly wrong (humor)

by James Venn

Created on: August 22, 2007

It was going to be one of those days, I mused. One of those rare weekends when I was going to have my time to myself and my garden. My wife was away with friends and the sun was shining. The recent rains had brought a rich lush verdance to my lawn that was in danger of overtaking me. I brewed my morning coffee and took a deep breath of the fresh country air. What had I done to make me so lucky, I innocently though.

I sipped my coffee as I meandered around the beds, beautiful early summer blooms framing the lawn. Amazing really, I thought, given that the soil hadn't been enriched for a few years. In the past it had been an annual ritual to have one for the local women pop around and sell me a trailer load of manure from the back of a battered land rover in exchange for a handful of coins, but I had failed to do that recently as work had been getting the better of me.

Hmm, I thought, a flash of exuberant gardening creativity touching me. Perhaps I could remedy this problem. . . it wasn't too late in the year and my wife would thank me when she returned. I could see her face as she walked through the gate, in awe of my green fingers. I had the time, I had the talent, I'd be mad not to I decided. Wouldn't I?

I marched off to our garden shed with a new sense of determination and conviction. I rummaged through the implements dotted around my shed. I left this sort of thing to Dave, our gardener, usually, as he had reorganised my tools and I felt somewhat at a loss as to where everything was. I rummaged some more. Finally I saw it, hidden behind my plastic summer dining table, my tried and tested sprayer. I had used it last with a mixture of plant foods and water some summers past when the lawn had been looking particularly patchy. I had sprayed the lawn thoroughly, sure it was due to the poor soil in our area, and, as if by magic, the lawn had shone through and gone from a mangy yellow to delicious green.

I yanked the casing out of the shed, my past success dancing in front of my eyes, only to be brought crashing back as I staggered under the surprising weight of the sprayer. I caught my balance and placed the container down. Upon examination, I realised, much to my surprise, that it was still quarter full. I would have expected it to be empty after all this time, but no, it was most certainly around quarter full. I breathed a sigh of relief, I had been worried that it would have rusted up in the corner of my shed through lack of use but now realised that Dave must have

Helium Debate

Cast your vote!

Are shade or ornamental trees better for front-yard landscaping?

Click for your side.

170397

Featured Partner

House Rabbit Society

House Rabbit Society is a volunteer-based international non-profit organization with two primary goals: 1) To rescue abandoned rabbits and find permanent homes for them 2) To educate the public and assist humane societies, th...more


CONNECT WITH US

Read
our blog
Helum for writers

Write and get published
Share with other writers
Polish your freelancing skills

Join our active writing community
Helium Content Source for Publishers

Quality articles from proven freelancers
Exclusive rights, fast turnaround
Brand engagement, business blogging -- our writers do it all

Get custom content today!

INFORMATION


Helium, Inc.
200 Brickstone Square Andover, MA 01810 USA
#