I write this at the most confusing time of my life, not even two months after my father has passed away.

It's been hard to go out and feel completely able to return to a "normal" schedule. I see society carry on in what seems to be a mostly unhappy manner and my faith in how the US acts as a society has diminished to a dangerous low. Our focus of living does not seem to rest on the overall well being of people, but on their potential of active consumerism. The mourning process seems to be limited at two weeks at the most, after that one must get back in line to pay the bills and keep our dear old economy growing.

I bring this up not just because of the struggle with money that arose out of an unexpected trip to see my father in Kentucky, but also because I had been an avid watcher of politics - the true standard for our society. If this seems silly to state, answer me this: Can you name more than two things that our government does not control? (Breathing does not count as a serious answer) The biggest issue in our nation should focus on health care - why not? A basic and realistic health source for all citizens, physically and mentally, to keep us all happy to return to work. Happy to make a donation to the greater good known as society.

Perhaps if I had an option to rethink what I see as a confusing world, I might not return so bitterly as I have been. I wouldn't feel so cheated out of my time to just mourn. Perhaps this hardship I face could make me stronger, if I didn't leave it unresolved. I would at least like an option of a free support group in my city.

The truth is, though, in our society - there is nothing free unless you make it free. Another sad truth comes from a quote I saw pasted on a website recently: "You're not really free, unless you're financially free."

Schedules, legal issues, time constraints, stress ~ these seem to be words that can all be addressed in some manner, yet few of us have access to those answers of how. How can we work past hardships on our own terms? How can we really make time, when all I hear is the tolling of a loud clock that society set up locally and nationally?

A brush of death makes me rethink what really matters in this life and I'm sorry to say that. Why is it we have to suffer to see what's really important? Somewhere along the way our society has made it that way. Hopefully we can find some form of answers from our families, but when they're gone - perhaps US society isn't as helpful as it once was.

Learn more about this author, Rose North.
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