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I forgave my spouse and forgave myself. I gave my spouse the blessing to get married again as I was not going to initiate any divorce procedures. I discovered only three years later I would have lost 50% of my estate to him. Thanks to my faith and commitment to the good old marriage vows.... till death do us part. I still wear the wedding ring. I will not be unfaithful to my vows and to my spouse's family who is still part of my son's family.

I did a Thank God list which included all the unhappy moments which I would never experience again.... the second list was of course all the longer, which gave more cause for thankfulness.

I compared my sufferings to those who were worst off - at least I had a four-figure salary which was comfortable for my son and me while my own mother had no initial income to bring up five of us, let alone be hounded by debtors. At least I had a roof to call my own.

I taught my son that our separation was not his undoing - it was the adults' affair. I taught myself to be thankful that I did not need to fight for the custody of my son.

Did I cry? Of course, I did. But much less than when we were together. So one day, I told myself I am already over forty, and I am happily single again, and what a waste of my liquids. The tears of sorrow stopped and there are only tears of joy now.

I devoted my time helping my students who were going through worse scenarios than my son and me..... one had 3 fathers and 2 mothers and would cheekily ask which mom or dad I was refering to. She now has the sweet smile and confident 'Never mind, it's alright' attitude as opposed to the sullen and quarrelsome disposition as a ten year old.

God brought into my life lovely single-agains who became my support circle - I now extend my fellowship to new single-agains as they did to me, though I have not met or contacted them in the last three years.

Now five years down the road, I look back and tell myself I have crossed the bridge. I can look at photographs of the days gone by with my son and smile and thank God for happy times together, for smooth departure and for present joy without my spouse but with my son, just as any widower or widow would...........

Learn more about this author, Lokemun Magar.
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