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Or, "How it can feel good not to be that good".

At the very root of perfectionism lies in passionate insecurity "It does not matter how much time or how much resources it takes, if I can't get to get it just right, then I will keep adjusting, rectifying, improving, and reworking until it is."

The first of two solutions may be found in the new personal productivity wave. One of the commonly recited mantras coming out of the David Allen's "Getting Things Done" philosophy is "getting all your ducks in a row" in other words, it's taking time to see your whole life in terms of all you ever need to do in this lifetime. Underlying this very simple mantra may be a key to putting an end to self-destructive perfectionist habits.

This solution of getting your whole life into view is deeper than it looks. It can be a very sobering experience. Yet this works simply because it is so simple, and gets to the root of the problem self-esteem and irrational insecurity.

When a person not just the perfectionist keeps perspective on her whole life, she realizes that there are roles and responsibilities more important than getting the mirrors polished to a sparkle, or churning out a perfect paper. If every role and responsibility is kept in context of a complete and content life, it becomes easy to decide which roles and responsibilities deserve more attention and more effort.

The second of the two solutions is deciding on the standards you want to live your life by, keeping your entire life in view. This is the second step because it is far easier to do once the previous is dutifully done. You must be willing to rationally determine how good something can get, by your own abilities and limitations, and be willing to do this with a friend who cares for you. I found that person can sometimes be a very caring spouse.

In conclusion, there's nothing wrong with being excellent, but there's a point where it crosses to the point of fanaticism, and that when you know you are a serial perfectionist. The answer is not complicated if you're looking for it - if you believe that no one's perfect, you must believe that everything else shouldn't be either.

Learn more about this author, Adrian Koh.
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