by Elizabeth Hemmingway

Created on: August 20, 2007   Last Updated: October 05, 2010

After spending only 2 weeks together over break, it was time to go back to the real world of work, school, church, and other activities we were involved in before we met. We promised that we would keep in touch through email everyday and talk on the phone every Saturday. We promised that we would get together in his state of Kentucky when we were available.

Yeah, that sounds all great in the lustful moment before you say goodbye but for those who live in reality and don't try to choreograph dating akin to a romance novel, those things don't happen. Email and text messaging aren't the same as hearing a person's voice, hearing the tone and inflection of emotion. I don't want to wait all day and put my life on hold for the phone to ring on a weekend night when I could be out doing something better. I am not rescheduling sick days, vacation days, holiday gatherings, or work time to travel 6 hours to go see you for basically a day and half weekend. Does that mean I am not interested in a relationship? Of course not. But I do know that it's a lot easier dating someone who actually lives in the same state as I do. I'll take 45 minutes of travel time instead of 3 states any day.

Absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder, it makes it grow lonely. How can you truly fall in love with someone that you don't see and feel a connected chemistry with? How can this be achieved through email and phone calls? The way that he or she looked is the reason you went out, starting dating, or fell in love with right? Now you can't look at the person as often as you want. Something is just missing when they are not there in front of you. First impressions go a long way and slowly wanes if there are other people around.

I tried to give long distance love a go but after about a week or two, the feelings that I had developed had started to dissipate. I wasn't getting that butterfly feeling in my stomach anymore. While everyone else was having couples night and date night and introducing their significant other, I was always by myself. I had no one to hang onto. It didn't matter that I got an email from him, or that I had 4 more days to talk to him. We're all busy when we are dating someone close to us, that long distance just adds extra stress in life to make a point to have contact. Sharing and communicating with one another creates trust. How can you trust someone you don't see and who doesn't see you? You think you know a person with phone calls and email but actions speak louder than words. How can you see action when there is no one around to see? Can you share a touch, kiss, or hug with just words?

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