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As previous authors on this subject have said, not trying means no. There are only a few basic steps to asking a woman out on a date that have been honed through generations.

1. You be the judge

Do her pupils dilate when she sees you? Does she flirt? Is she kind to you? In other words, what are your odds? You will also have to judge what kind of girl she is. Is she shy or assertive? If she's shy, you're going to have to be more patient than if the woman is outgoing or flirtatious.

2. Talk

If you can't talk much, make your words count. If you talk a lot, your volume might frighten her. It all depends on the circumstance. But there is one thing you must do - compliment her in some fashion. If you are confident enough to flirt, good for you. I myself am not an expert flirt. Flirting and complimenting are on the same ship. Be nice. Call her beautiful. Say that you are impressed. Tell her she's hot. But overall, do this in a fashion that truly represents yourself.

3. Collect yourself

Pause for a moment, look at her. Collect your thoughts: what you are going to do next? Use the restroom and splash your face. Get ready to race; you are already warmed up!

4. Do it

While this sounds simple, this is where most men fail. Don't work yourself up too much, try not to think too hard. Depending on what kind of woman you are asking, you will have to ask her on a date a certain way.

a) Shy women. The most difficult in my mind, because you can't instantly read their minds. Be kind. Make her blush. Be yourself, and ask her in a tactful manner. Example: "I was really impressed with your Chopin playing. If you like classical, you would love the play next Friday?" The basic thing with shy women is not to startle them. Don't start with dinner. Make it light: start with A.M. coffee, or even better, lunch.

b) Outgoing women. Be strong, don't hesitate. Just go for it. It's like diving off the high dive, if you think too long, it makes your head spin. Example: "You look amazing, but I have to go. Would you want to do this again?" If your method is simpler than this, then just ask "can I have your number?"

c) Flirtatious women. I have less information here, as they typically are not my type. What I do know is one simple fact: go with the flow. If you have to break the ice, do it. If she says, "you're cute," come back with something one notch up from that. It's all a game - be a little facetious if you have to. Hopefully, this upward spiral will explode into your next date.

Remember not to take any one woman too seriously from the instant you see her. She's not the only one. There are 4-5 BILLION women on the planet. It's all up to the dice. Be yourself, go for it, and good luck.

Learn more about this author, David Hon.
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