by Colleen Ranney

Created on: August 19, 2007

There is strength in Honesty and Truth. These are qualities that I held assurance in at the time of my divorce. Honesty and Truth may not protect us from emotions of hurt or pain but they are an important means for a higher purpose. My children felt pain even before I told them about divorce and this was difficult to face. My marriage was abusive and my reasons for leaving and divorce were out of love for my children and love for my own self. At the time of my divorce my children were ages 4, 5 and 7. I made many choices at that time that looking back now I would like to have done differently. But I strongly believe telling our children about divorce is a conversation that is not limited to only one time.

We as parents need to continually speak to our children about divorce.Not just one time.This conversation can continue for years.
We as parents need to not only tell our children about divorce but as well we need to listen to what our children have to tell us about divorce.

My children were very young at the time their father and I were separated and it was important to me that their lives were faced with as little change in daily routine as possible.
It was important that I did not speak to them about their father in ways that blamed their father or put him down.It is unfair for a child to feel as though they need to choose where their loyalty is placed between their momma and daddy.

Talking to my kids about divorce is still a conversation that comes up from time to time and my children are now ages 11, 12 and 14. We have learned from each other, cried with each other, but most of all been Honest and Truthful with each other even when it hurts.
I believe that is what keeps our bonds of love strong in every situation we face as a family.

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