Channel Button

There are 28 articles on this title. You are reading the article ranked and rated #1 by Helium's members.

Relationships & Family   >

Communication Skills

How to start a conversation and make friends

Verbal communication skills come naturally to some, while for others it takes practice to have a smooth conversation with almost anyone about almost anything. We all want to be considered friendly. Not overly friendly, just enough of a conversationalist to be comfortable as we make our way in the world. Each time we leave our home we come into contact with others. Whether they are coworkers, neighbors, vendors or brief encounters on the street, our verbal exchanges with others can make or break our day and mood.

The obvious way to begin a friendly conversation is with a smile. We can make a comment about the situation we share. "Looks like it will rain." The person you are attempting to engage will probably agree with a brief "yes, it does." Continue on a positive note, "I love summer rain, it's so good for the grass and flowers." This opens up the possibility of a conversation about flowers, landscape, yard work etc... Another good opening is to notice and comment on something the person is carrying. "I see you are reading Don Gabor's book on how to start a conversation. I've been intending to read that book myself." The idea is to nudge the conversation along until you are actively engaged and finding common ground on which to build. Introduce yourself and when your companion does the same, continue to use his/her name as you converse. Compliments are also a good ice breaker, but only give sincere compliments.

The following three basic rules will guide you into reciprocal conversation in any situation. Stop, Look and Listen.

* Stop. Once you have the person talking, stop talking about yourself and practice active listening. Don't be thinking of the next thing you want to say. Don't interrupt or finish the other person's sentences. Make your own Replies in short sentences and don't get off on tangents about yourself. Show more interest in what the other person has to say than showing off what you know. If you find yourself carrying most of the conversation, a good segue back to your companion is, "But, enough about me...." Avoid phrases like "you should", "you need", "you must", for they are sure conversation killers. You do not want to appear patronizing or arrogant. You also want to avoid use of the words "always" and "never" as they conjure up a rigid attitude. Your goal is to be upbeat and positive and to send the message you'd like to have an exchange of thoughts and you are open to the possibility of continued friendship.


Below are the top articles rated and ranked by Helium members on:

How to start a conversation and make friends

  • 1 of 28

    by Carol Gioia

    Verbal communication skills come naturally to some, while for others it takes practice to have a smooth conversation ... read more

  • 2 of 28

    by Marc Steel

    It's surprising how many people are petrified at the thought of having to start a conversation. All they can think of... read more

  • 3 of 28

    by Pedro Pacheco

    Making friends is a great experience. However most people seem to have some trouble with this particular skill. Mo... read more

  • 4 of 28

    by Tatyana Carney

    Ask Questions! One of the things that will draw people to you is a sincere interest in where they've been, what they... read more

  • 5 of 28

    by Ron Tocknell

    We Brits are a rather reserved lot. If two British strangers were stranded on a desert island, they would be unable t... read more

View All Articles on:
How to start a conversation and make friends

Add your voice

Know something about How to start a conversation and make friends?
We want to hear your view. Write_penWrite now!

What do you know about?
  • Tell us! Get published today.
  • Reach millions.
  • Many ways to earn.
Join Helium Today

Already a member? Log in.

Helium Debate

Cast your vote!

Communicating in text-message style: Is it ruining real communication?

Click for your side. Must be logged in.

91517

Featured Partner

Chesapeake Service Systems

Chesapeake Service Systems (CSS) has partnered with Helium, giving you the chance to write for a cause. Browse C...more

What is Helium? | User Guide | Community | Link to Helium | Privacy | User agreement | DMCA

Helium, Inc.
200 Brickstone Square Andover, MA 01810 USA