by Molly Carter

Created on: August 19, 2007

Marriage is a beautiful and lifelong commitment. It is the joining of two lives into one, but as anyone who has married can tell you, sometimes that melding into one can be stressful and confusing. Before you say "I DO" it's important to discuss topics that are deal breakers for you. What can you handle? What can't you handle? Establish clear communication now, and confront issues that could cause bumps in the road later on down the line.

CHILDREN-
Do you want children? Discuss with our partner how you feel about kids. You should be honest about how many children you would like to have, how far apart, and when you would like to start trying. If you plan to have kids right away, does your bride think she will take time off work? Discussing how you would deal if one of you was unable to have kids is also important. Would you be agreeable to fertility treatments or adoption.

CAREER-
Some men still like to be the sole bread winner and some prefer their wives to enjoy careers of their own. Don't assume your partner can read your mind. Discuss each other's careers and how it may effect your life. Would she be willing to move with you if you got a promotion? Would you be willing to move with her? Are you able to be supportive of your wife if she achieves greater stature or money? To be clear, it's important to discuss things like how much time you want to focus on your career versus your marriage. Her decision to work 80 hour weeks may not leave much time for you.

LIVING SITUATION-
Discuss what your ideal life would be like if money was no option. You may be surprised to hear she wants to live abroad, or maybe in the country where as you prefer the city. Discuss each other's personal style and taste. Where as interior decorating seems like a small issue, sometimes the smallest fights turn into the biggest resentments. If she likes all modern things, and you prefer a more down home feel, one of you may feel completely uncomfortable in your home.

PETS-
Discuss if you would like to have pets. Some people flourish with animals running around under foot and other's can't stand them. Be sure to know what your future bride expects.

FAMILY -
It's important to establish how each other feels about their family and your own. As a unified front you will have to make ground rules...how often each other's family can come, if they can drop by and surprise you, if they must call ahead. How do you plan to handle the holidays? Discussing your relationships to your family will help you understand

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